- War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
- A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
- Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
- I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
- A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..
- I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.
- Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
- Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
- It's not the fall that kills you; it's the sudden stop at the end.
- My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
- My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
- You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
- Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
El resto en OnelinerZdotNET (gracias @Cerebrado).
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